Separation and Divorce: Why a Court Divorce Should be Your Last Resort
Statistics have it that 36 percent of all married couples end up divorced. What this means is that lots of people will be affected directly or indirectly by divorce and everyone should think about the details that go into the divorce process. The initial stage of separation is characterized by anger and pain so it can be very tempting to choose litigation over other forms of divorce settlements because you don't want to talk to your partner. While that is understandable, here are five reasons why a court divorce should be your last resort.
Cost of Litigation
Litigation is a costly affair, from hiring lawyers and investigators, to court bookings and other expenses. Also, depending on the issues that arise in the case such as child custody, alimony payment, and division of property, the case can lag for months. There is no telling how far and how long the process will go, and you will still be paying for the legal services separately. Having this in mind, settling out of court can help in cutting down some of the huge costs that are associated with litigation.
Unlike mediation and collaborative divorce, court proceedings are war between the couple and even the attorneys. In battle, the main agenda is hurting each other to win and the result of that is a ruined relationship. There is no way a couple and their families are coming out of court proceedings friendly after tearing each other apart, and the chances of reconciliation after that is zero. This can really hurt your family dynamic, especially where children are involved.
Exposure of Secrets
Both attorneys will have dirt dug up on either party, and personal information will be poured all over the courtroom. There are many things about families and couples that other people should not find out, but they do in court. All the dark secrets in the marriage are revealed, and nothing is held back in pursuit of victory. Unless you want things in your past that you aren't proud of to be brought to the light, settling out of court would be a suitable idea.
Lack of Say in the Process
While in divorce court, there is no telling what the judge's ruling will be. Whether you are fighting for children's custody, property or business division, or alimony, the final decision is entirely up to the judge. You have to abide by it whether it feels fair or not. However, if you settle out of court, you get to make arrangements that favor all the parties involved.
Unless your spouse has wholly refused to sit down and talk with a mediator or family lawyer, going to court should be the last resort. There are several better ways to go through a divorce without tearing each other apart.